Under-dressed mom in teen daughters clothes to my left: "So, how do you politely say "are you pregnant, or are you just getting fat and gross? ...mumble, mumble, mumble... a theatrical fashion show of people in assless pleather chaps and pig masks...Mumble, mumble, mumble...exactly! So I was all, 'If you like it that much, then you should've just peed on it."
Overdressed mom admonishing toddler to my right: "Connor! Connor, stop that now. Connor, I'm going to count to three...in French. Un, deux, trois."
Sexually repressed guido type behind me with a thick accent: "Mumble mumble mumble...So I sez, 'Show me where it says in the Holy Bible that you can't bang your stepsister'...mumble, mumble....'put the rest of the money back in the tampon box' I sez...mumble, mumble...Bosnians are from Bosnia, and so on...mumble mumble....'when it's my turn to go in a home, just give me the ol' pillow therapy treatment right over my face' I sez..."